Mediation for Single Parents

There are 13.6 million single parents raising 21 million children in the U.S. The 2010 census reported that 40.7% of new births in the U.S. were to unmarried women. Mediation can be a valuable tool for unmarried parents to establish effective co-parentings agreements. Issues that remain unsettled add to the disharmony, strife, and resentment of these parents and set a tone that leads the children toward emotional damage. What are some of the co-parenting pitfalls that can overcome in mediation?

1. When is each parent going to have possession of the child?

2. Who is responsible for transporting the child between parents’ homes?

3. What outside care-takers are acceptable to both parents? Who’s to pay?

4. Who is to provide health, dental, and vision insurance for the child?

5. How about the co-pays, deductibles and non-covered items?

6. Will there be a parent designated as primary custodian (parent A)?

7. How about child support? Who pays and how much?

8. Should alcohol and recreational drugs be prohibited during possession of the child?

9. What limitations can be agreed to regarding exposing the child to new romantic interests?

10. Who is to decide and who is to pay for summer camps and other extracurricular activities?

All of these obstacles and more can be addressed and resolved in a written settlement agreement negotiated with the help of an experienced family mediator.

Jerrell “Jerry” Cosby is one of the most experienced mediators in in the field. He is Owner and Divorce Mediator at Texas Mediation Group in Fort Worth, Texas. Jerry began mediating family related cases in 1999. He has mediated hundreds of divorce cases. In 2020 he was named “Tops in Tarrant” by the readers of Society Life Magazine.

9500 Ray White Rd.
Fort Worth, Texas 76244
817-300-6666
Jerry@TexasMediationGroup.com
www.texasmediationgroup.com

Different Ways to Experience Love on Valentine's Day

Some of you may be thrilled when Valentine’s Day comes around and some of you dread it! This year we want to expand on the idea that love on Valentines day is more than just for lovers. With this post you'll have ideas on how to experience meaningful and authentic love with those important in your life! 

1. Long-time lovers! When you've been with someone for a long period of time, it's natural to fall into the same routine on Valentine's Day. Dinner. Card. Flowers. That's nice and all, but try challenging yourself to be creative and think outside of the box. Date your partner like you did in the early years when you were trying to experience new things together! Show them you can be just as romantic now as you were back then! Plan a picnic, share a bubble bath, or make a homemade gift. The gesture of receiving a homemade gift can be a memory making experience that both partners can benefit from.

2. Siblings. Not the people we usually think of when trying to express love during Valentine’s Day. Which is why we chose to include it on this list. It’s so easy to take your siblings for granted, as most siblings can be so different. Instead of focusing on the differences, build off from your similarities or moments of laughter you both can share. Create new traditions or inside jokes with each other that express love.

3. Coworkers. Let’s face it, we tend to spend a lot of our time at work with co-workers. This love can be centered on your appreciation or gratitude for their contribution to your work environment. You can express your gratitude for them by baking some homemade treats or small note of gratitude for their help in making your days at work easier.

4. Parent/child. One of the most influential relationships we can have is with our parents. Parents can use their influence by teaching their children ways to express love. If you're a parent, then you know that the best way to teach will be through your example. From Valentine’s candy, treats ,flowers, a special dinner together, or words of appreciation, experience different ways to express love! If you're the child in this meaningful relationship, set aside time to connect and strengthen your connection with your parents. Express aspects you appreciate about them or remind them about the lessons you've gained from receiving their love.

5. The In-laws! If it wasn't for you're in-laws, your significant other wouldn't be here. In-laws are an extension of your spouse and have played a huge role in helping your partner develop into the person you have come to love. In-laws can be a wonderful resource to your marriage. Nurture this relationship much so like the one with your own parents. Spend time together. Stay connected. Express your love to them too. If you have a hard time connecting with your in-laws, then take a moment to brag about your spouse to them- what parent doesn’t love hearing the positive qualities in their son or daughter!

6. Friends! If you don’t have a romantic partner to spend the day with, grab a friend (or a few!) This one has become a popular one around Valentines day. “Galentines” has become one of my favorite traditions around this holiday. Our favorite idea with friends would be to treat yourself to a night out, you may find that time together with friends will be more rewarding than spending it alone or putting pressure on yourself for not "having a relationship."

This post was inspired by the direct translation of ~ “Dia Del Amor y La Amistad” which means Day of Love and Friendship. How beautiful it would be if we could all use this day to celebrate the love we have in our lives and cherish our relationship. We hope that this new meaning to Valentine’s Day, if you don’t already have it, will encourage you to express the love and gratitude you have for those special in your life. 

Where Do You Wish To Meet?

Illustration by Sophia Schultz

Abraham Maslow was a humanistic psychologist who developed a theory describing what motivates individuals and how they move along the lines of getting their needs met.  His concept, Hierarchy of Needs, is most often depicted in a pyramid to delineate each level.  The bottom level, the foundation, represents the most basic necessities for human survival while the highest level demonstrates transcendent desires.  As a person reaches their goals in one level, he or she is able to move on to the next level.  If an individual has yet to satisfy the needs for food and shelter one can assume this person is less likely motivated to fulfill their needs in other levels.

The 5 Stage Model includes:   

  1.    Physiological Needs -  food, shelter, water, clothing

2.    Safety & Security -  health, employment, stability, security of  body

3.    Love & Belonging -  friendships, family, intimacy, connection

4.    Self-Esteem -  confidence, respect from others, achievement

5.    Self-Actualization -  spontaneity, creativity, lack of prejudice, realizing personal potential

While the hierarchy is depicted in an upward trajectory, it is not uncommon for people to fluctuate from one level to the next.  When changes arise such as divorce, death, breakups, or loss of employment individuals can find themselves moving back and forth through the hierarchy.  And when these needs to be loved, to feel safe, to feel confident become threatened, it is human nature to make attempts, even if ineffective, to gain or maintain them.  

In our practice, clients come to us from all different levels.  We do our best to listen to where our clients have been and discover where they wish to be.  Whichever level you find yourself, we will meet you there.