Mediation for Single Parents

There are 13.6 million single parents raising 21 million children in the U.S. The 2010 census reported that 40.7% of new births in the U.S. were to unmarried women. Mediation can be a valuable tool for unmarried parents to establish effective co-parentings agreements. Issues that remain unsettled add to the disharmony, strife, and resentment of these parents and set a tone that leads the children toward emotional damage. What are some of the co-parenting pitfalls that can overcome in mediation?

1. When is each parent going to have possession of the child?

2. Who is responsible for transporting the child between parents’ homes?

3. What outside care-takers are acceptable to both parents? Who’s to pay?

4. Who is to provide health, dental, and vision insurance for the child?

5. How about the co-pays, deductibles and non-covered items?

6. Will there be a parent designated as primary custodian (parent A)?

7. How about child support? Who pays and how much?

8. Should alcohol and recreational drugs be prohibited during possession of the child?

9. What limitations can be agreed to regarding exposing the child to new romantic interests?

10. Who is to decide and who is to pay for summer camps and other extracurricular activities?

All of these obstacles and more can be addressed and resolved in a written settlement agreement negotiated with the help of an experienced family mediator.

Jerrell “Jerry” Cosby is one of the most experienced mediators in in the field. He is Owner and Divorce Mediator at Texas Mediation Group in Fort Worth, Texas. Jerry began mediating family related cases in 1999. He has mediated hundreds of divorce cases. In 2020 he was named “Tops in Tarrant” by the readers of Society Life Magazine.

9500 Ray White Rd.
Fort Worth, Texas 76244
817-300-6666
Jerry@TexasMediationGroup.com
www.texasmediationgroup.com

Surviving the Damages from an Affair

What exactly is an affair?  Many people have different definitions for this word.  Some people believe an affair is having a sexual relationship with someone outside of the relationship, others believe becoming emotionally attached to someone else is considered having an affair, while some believe the act of watching pornography could be considered an affair.  This is why it is so important to communicate individual expectations with your partner in where healthy boundaries and limits can be established in order to protect your relationship.  

If an affair within the relationship does occur, it can be very detrimental to the relationship, as well as to the non-offending partner.  However, just because damage has been done, does not mean it cannot be repaired!  It won’t happen overnight, but with the guidance and support of a skilled professional, it can be done.

You may be asking yourself, “How?”  A licensed therapist will be able to help the couple identify the underlying contributions to the affair.  The shared responsibility of these contributions may not be equal; however, addressing each partner’s role in the relationship could provide clues on issues that weakened the relationship prior to the affair.  This can help the couple prevent these circumstances in the future.  A therapist will also help the couple with improving their communication patterns.  They will learn how to “communicate more sensitively, how to listen with more respect, how to talk about sensitive issues without anger or criticism, and how to offer more positivity…” (Heitler, 2011).  The most difficult aspects of surviving the affair are forgiveness and trust.  Be prepared for the long haul while repairing these pieces.  It can, however, be done while working with a therapist through the anger, pain, and fears. 

Once the communication gate is open and flowing, and the partners have repaired trust, it may be time to explore restoring the couple’s intimacy.  In the beginning, sexual intimacy may be compared to the intimacy that occurred during the affair.  The therapist can help the couple come back together in order to achieve more enjoyable and pleasurable intimacy that may have been missing or lacking previously.  

With all of this being said, in order for the couple to survive this rainstorm, both partners have to be willing to repair the damages together.  This can all be done with the support and help from a professional therapist.  Some couples even report developing an even stronger and more intimate relationship after surviving the affair!

References:

Bloom, Charlie & Bloom, Linda. (2010, May 10). Is there (marital) life after an affair? [Web log post] Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/stronger-the-broken-places/201005/is-there-marital-life-after-affair

Heitler, Susan. (2011, Nov 1). Recovery from an affair. [Web log post] Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/resolution-not-conflict/201111/recovery-affair

McCarthy, Barry W. (2012, Jan 2). Sexual recovery from an extramarital affair. [Web log post] Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/whats-your-sexual-style/201201/sexual-recovery-extramarital-affair

Hey! I'm Grace!

My name is Grace, and I am thrilled to be a therapist at Reconnecting Relationships Therapy. 

I would like to share with you a little of my background and experiences that has brought me to become a Marriage and Family Therapist. To be completely honest I would have not started the path to become a therapist if were not for other therapists that touched my life. They believed in my potential and dedicated their time to strengthen my God-given qualities. Getting to know other therapists in my life made me realize they all genuinely respected me as an individual, and were rooting for my success. Today, I apply that valuable lesson with every client that I get to work with. No matter my client’s background, faith, culture or past/current hardships, they deserve my respect and support to reach their personal goals! 

My approach in therapy is to empower my clients by using their natural strengths and introducing additional skills to overcome various life struggles. I do this by using a family systems model that encourages healthy communication, respect, clear boundaries, and flexibility to develop healthy relationships with self and others. 

I’ve been married for three years and do not have children. However, I do have a Papillion named Simba that I completely adore! My favorite things to do are spending time with family and friends and traveling. I have found a passion in traveling to new countries as I come to learn and experience new cultures and different ways of living life. 

Thank you for taking the time to know me on a more personal level. If you have not had an opportunity to read the self-introductions of the other therapists at RRT, I encourage you to do so. 

Please keep coming back to our blog!  We plan to continue sharing a variety of resources that encourage self-growth and positive relationships. 

Getting to Know Jenifer!

Hello!!  I just want to take a minute and introduce myself to all of you and share a little bit of my history and background.  I thought I’d start off by sharing with you why I chose to become a Marriage and Family Therapist! 

Ever since I was a little girl, my parents always told me I would be a therapist when I grew up.  I was that kid that wanted to know, “why”…why people felt the way they did and if they were sad I wanted to cheer them up.  Even going through middle school and high school, I was the friend everyone would turn to when they needed to talk to someone, or they just needed to vent.  Now, I am still that little girl who wants to know “why” and that friend who everyone turns to.  This is what fuels my passion for my clients today.  I chose to focus my therapeutic attention on marriage, mostly, because going into graduate school I knew I wanted to pursue a specialization in sex therapy.  

For the past 6 years I have been employed by an adult novelty store where I have gained a vast knowledge of sexual awareness and sex education.  Thanks to customers who have been open and felt like they could talk to me, it has in turn opened my mind up to the more sensual and private endeavors in a couples’ relationship.  Working at my store, I feel, has prepared me for this field and has allowed me to help my clients in a more personal and private way, more than sitting in a classroom could have.  

On a more personal note, I am not married, nor do I have any children.  I do, however, have two VERY spoiled cats that I absolutely adore!  I really enjoy reading—my favorites are mysteries and romance.  Another favorite thing of mine is spending time with my closest friends; just eating sushi and sharing stories! 

I hope that by sharing a little piece of me has allowed you to see me on a more personal level, as more of an equal.  We all experience life in very different ways, but, nonetheless, we all experience times of hardships and happiness.

Hi! My Name Is Zully!

Hi there!  Let me introduce myself.  My name is Zully and I’m so excited to share with you experiences and life challenges that I’ve accumulated over the years as a student, mother, and wife.  Sometimes things are easy and other times they are just plain awful.  Some are small struggles while others are giant hurdles.  But one thing I have learned, that I hope I can help others with, is that situations are always changing and opportunities often present themselves in order for us to make things better.  However, those are not always obvious to us and, at times, we require a little help in seeing things in a different light.  

I’m a mother of two superb, clever young ladies, ages 10 and 14.  As you can imagine they are my pride and joy.  The other wonderful person in my life that is equally responsible for these amazing creatures is my husband of 16 years.  Oh and let’s not forget our youngest of all…Chloe, our 5 year old chocolate lab/pit bull mix.  She really is my third child that might never grow up.  

My passion in therapy is in promoting resiliency and strength in families, couples, and individuals.  I love seeing how children can blossom into their roles as teens and young adults.  However, these transitions are not always a smooth ride for everyone involved.  There are bumps along the way.  Many times people get stuck in patterns that are constricting or unproductive.  I help to explore alternative ways of handling and perceiving such challenges.  

So, along the way you will find that I tend to share with you experiences of my own, new developments in studies and research, and techniques that I feel can be useful in strengthening your relationship with yourself and others.  Thanks for reading and keep learning to keep growing!