Abraham Maslow was a humanistic psychologist who developed a theory describing what motivates individuals and how they move along the lines of getting their needs met. His concept, Hierarchy of Needs, is most often depicted in a pyramid to delineate each level. The bottom level, the foundation, represents the most basic necessities for human survival while the highest level demonstrates transcendent desires. As a person reaches their goals in one level, he or she is able to move on to the next level. If an individual has yet to satisfy the needs for food and shelter one can assume this person is less likely motivated to fulfill their needs in other levels.

The 5 Stage Model includes:

1. Physiological Needs - food, shelter, water, clothing

2. Safety & Security - health, employment, stability, security of body

3. Love & Belonging - friendships, family, intimacy, connection

4. Self-Esteem - confidence, respect from others, achievement

5. Self-Actualization - spontaneity, creativity, lack of prejudice, realizing personal potential

While the hierarchy is depicted in an upward trajectory, it is not uncommon for people to fluctuate from one level to the next. When changes arise such as divorce, death, breakups, or loss of employment individuals can find themselves moving back and forth through the hierarchy. And when these needs to be loved, to feel safe, to feel confident become threatened, it is human nature to make attempts, even if ineffective, to gain or maintain them.

In our practice, clients come to us from all different levels. We do our best to listen to where our clients have been and discover where they wish to be. Whichever level you find yourself, we will meet you there.

While it is disheartening to hear the numerous accounts of women being violated and mistreated by the movie mogul, Harvey Weinstein, I am glad that this topic is being given the spotlight it deserves. Each narrative serves as a reminder of the struggles that still exist for women today. But in light of the deceptions that have occurred, it is also inspiring to see the number of individuals who are being brave enough to speak out against this magnate who has abused his power and authority for way too long.

One thing that I noticed being advocated on social media was the #MeToo campaign. I found it interesting how each time I logged into my FB page, there was yet another person posting #MeToo. It was similar to the unraveling of the Weinstein debacle. Every time I picked up my phone, I learned of another celebrity who had been affected by his vile behaviors. It seemed as each person stepped forward to tell their story, others gained the confidence to follow suit. Amazing!

Revealing traumatizing incidents is not easy and many victims hold off on disclosing for fear of rejection, shame, embarrassment, among other reasons. Silence perpetuates the cycle of nondisclosure making it more difficult to discuss after a period of time has passed. Therefore, when an individual is ready to disclose that moment can be consequential to their healing.

One woman on FB said she was surprised that the #MeToo campaign helped her see that she was not alone in her experience with sexual assault. The more dialogue we have with each other about this topic, the more it provides us with understanding and connection. Feeling alone is very common and can make the abused feel isolated.

But in speaking, there is also listening. So, while one person is ready to speak another may be unsure or leery of hearing. They may feel uncertain of how to verbally respond in an empathic manner. Or the information being shared might put the listener in a position of responsibility. Now you have this knowledge, and what do you do with it? There is bravery on both ends – speaker and the responsible listener.

In the recent events, what has occurred is a movement that promotes validity. Validity says “I believe you.” Those who have spoken out against Weinstein include not only the individuals directly affected by him but those who have been witness to Weinstein’s poor character. These people have stepped up to validate the numerous accounts that have been given, allowing for those who have been hurt to begin healing.

I think what tends to happen is that this topic of sexual abuse can seem ugly and uncomfortable. And it is. However, it’s way too important to avoid it. Silence only makes it stronger, and it’s our voices that will help us take a stand against sexual abuse. And in that process, we find that there are people who can and will say, “I believe you.” And I can declare, “#MeToo.”

Where Do You Wish To Meet?

I Believe You!